From the desk of

From the desk of an Oriole-supporting twenty-something

THINGS I WILL TELL MY FRIEND LOUDLY AT THE BASEBALL GAME:

In regards to one of the players,

OHMYGOD I saw him on the television while you were in the bathroom and he is SO. FUCKING. SEXY.  He reminds me of the Bartender.  I guess I need to stop bothering him since he's not interested.  But feather in my cap: he said I was the sexiest girl in the room.

In regards to recreational drinking,

I need to stop getting blackout drunk.

In regards to men (in general),

I can't be bothered with average guys.  They either need to be super skinny or like huge.  This one guy from class was totally hitting on me and after he left I asked [insert poor sap descended upon] if he looked like a serial killer.  She said, No no no, and I was like, never mind then--not interested.  I mean, he was like stick then and looked like he had five bodies in the basement, you know.