Mr Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

*I've only just realized that this failed to get posted. This was the "late" post to which I referred before. Oops.

Mr Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson,

First of all, let me say, I am a big fan, which is impressive because I believe I've only seen one of your movies. But you, sir, have an undeniable charm. You smile and we almost forget you could very easily crush our skulls. (Almost.)

It is precisely for this reason that I ask of you this one monumentally big favor: please visit the Old State House in Boston, MA and star in a how to instructional video for incoming Museum Associates. My coworkers and I feel you would be the perfect M.A., polite but firm and ready to bust heads when necessary.

Dealing with museum patrons can be very tedious. They do not want to listen to or follow our rules, but they continually demand our attention and utmost respect. This video would show new hires how to deal with both common and unusual situations in which M.A.s might find themselves. For example, what to do when someone is reluctant to give us their bag. You must stand your ground! The safety of the building and artifacts is at stake after all, no matter what's in the bag or how much it cost. We feel you could easily articulate precisely why large bags and back packs are not allowed through the museum as well as firmly grasp the bag and pry it from the person's hands all with an irresistible smile on your face. Another example: rope jumpers. This one is particularly frustrating. However, we think, if you simply vault over the front desk and chase down the perpetrators, you would instill in lookers-on enough fear and awe as to prevent them from attempting a similar act of misconduct.

Clearly this is a big decision, and we by no means expect an immediate response. Please take your time to think it over. Once you've decided to come and do the video, please call or simply show up unannounced. It really would give us all a genuine thrill.

Sincerely,

K. Bliss
The Old State House Museum
Boston, MA